Before I dive into these blood orange-infused chocolate cupcakes, I want to give you a head’s up that this post is going to be a little bit personal, so if you’re more interested in the recipe feel free to scroll down past the next few paragraphs. I’ll be honest, guys—last year was pretty intense. I ended up working a kiiiiiind of crazy amount. Part of that work required me to be away from home a lot, and I really missed being home with Jeremy and the animals and the garden. Writing my book while doing all of this was very stressful, mainly because I am a perfectionist and I love my next book so much that I agonized over making sure everything in it was juuust right. I turned in my book on January 15th and then was working on revisions until February 13th, and then went out of town again for work. And although I thought I’d start off 2017 by being more diligent about posting here, I ended up being so crazy with work and traveling for work that I fell really behind on all the recipes I wanted to share with you guys. Since January 1st, I have been on 18 different airplanes. I am writing this on February 20th. I wanted to be better about saying no to things and putting personal relationships and personal well-being first this year, but I’ve already failed pretty hard at that. I have this FOMO that takes over every time an opportunity comes up. I used to always say yes to pretty much every work-related project that came along, but that left me super burnt out, and now I’m definitely better about being more selective about what I do, but the whole work/life balance is still tricky nevertheless. As a freelancer, I struggle with saying no, especially when people ask me to do something nicely. I know what projects I don’t have the time for and what I should say no to, but I am such a people pleaser that I just really intensely hate letting people down, and saying no to someone, even professionally, makes me feel like a big jerk. I know that’s unreasonable, but that’s just how I feel. Every time I say no to something a little part of me winces and frowns.
I want to be home more. I want to be a better wife and be more present everyday instead of thinking constantly about work during personal time. I want to be able to be with my garden all summer long without worrying about anything frying up in the sun or getting crushed in a freak rainstorm. I just want to nest for a little bit. And I am stupidly lucky to be able to have a job where that’s completely feasible and I can totally work from home and stay there and make that happen. The only person stopping me from doing that is me. And I don’t know how to stop me. I have this manic drive that takes over where I just want to keep doing more and more and more—I love the feeling that comes from getting a lot of things done and being really efficient and productive. It’s almost like a high. But I know that maintaining that high isn’t good for those closest to me, because it makes me a more stressed out, distracted, and sometimes unpleasant person to be around. I’m going to really, really try to hold back a little bit and be better about boundaries with work and personal time, (no more phone/computer/working past 7 pm) and be more selective about what I chose to do and who I chose to work with. I’ve had some wake-up calls recently that have made me a little more guarded and selective in general, which I think is for the best. I think a part of growing older is growing more cautious—I’m trying to be more aware of the pitfalls of certain activities and relationships and using that awareness to guide my decision-making to live an overall healthier life. What about you guys, do you struggle with maintaining work/life balance? Do you have any advice? Did seeing a therapist change your life? You are all very wise and I would love to hear any similar experiences you’ve had and how you worked through your work/life balance problems.
So, let’s change gears and talk about chocolate! These guys are the most moist chocolate cupcakes I’ve ever had. Usually I shy away from chocolate cupcakes at bakeries because they tend to be on the dry side, but these ones have a special combination of brown butter, creme fraiche, and orange zest that keeps them super rich and chocolatey while still slightly refreshing. I scooped out little bits of the cake from each one and filled them with blood orange curd and then topped them with a very simple chocolate ganache (only 2 ingredients), and some candied blood oranges. If you want to make this simpler, you can cut out the candied blood oranges and even the orange curd and still get a bit of orange flavor from the zest (but I highly recommend getting some curd in there because it goes SO good with the ganache). Hope you guys enjoy these chocolate cupcakes and thanks for sticking with me through my rambling 🙂
Blood Orange Cupcakes
Ingredients
Candied Blood Oranges
- 2 cups granulated sugar
- 1 1/2 cups water
- 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 blood orange (cut into 1/8 inch thick slices)
Blood Orange Chocolate Cupcakes
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter
- 1 cup flour
- 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons Dutch process cocoa powder
- 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1/2 cup warm water
- 1 egg
- 1/4 cup creme fraiche
- 2 tablespoons warm milk
- 1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoom finely grated blood orange zest
Blood Orange Curd
- 1 egg
- 1 egg yolk
- 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
- 3 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons blood orange juice
- 1 tablespoon unsalted butter (melted)
Chocolate Ganache
- 1 cup heavy whipping cream
- 10 ounces semi-sweet chocolate
Instructions
Candied Blood Oranges
-
Bring the sugar, water, and vanilla extract to a boil in a medium frying pan. Reduce heat to low and add the blood orange slices in a single layer. Allow to cook in the syrup for 40 minutes, turning them halfway through. Remove them from the syrup and allow to cool on a wire rack, then cut them into quarters.
Blood Orange Chocolate Cupcakes
-
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line a muffin tin with cupcake liners. Melt the butter in a medium stainless steel or white enameled saucepan over medium low heat. Continue cooking it until the butter smells nutty and toasty and turns deep gold in color, then remove it from the heat and allow to cool for 5 minutes.
-
Sift the flour, cocoa powder, and baking powder into the bowl of a stand mixer. Add the sugar and salt and mix at low speed with the paddle attachment to combine. Add the brown butter, water, and egg and beat at low speed until smooth. Add the creme fraiche, whole milk, vanilla extract, and blood orange zest and mix at low speed until just combined.
-
Evenly distribute the batter between the cupcake liners, filling them about 3/4 full. Place the pan in the oven and bake for about 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of each one comes out clean. Remove the lined cupcakes from the pan and let them cool completely on a wire rack.
Blood Orange Curd
-
In the top of a double boiler over gently simmering water, whisk together the egg, egg yolk, granulated sugar, 3 tablespoons of the blood orange juice, and the butter. Continue whisking until the mixture has noticeably thickened, about 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat, whisk in the remaining 2 teaspoons of blood orange juice and place the top of the double boiler in an ice bath to help the curd cool as you whisk it until cooled to room temperature. Cover and place in the refrigerator.
Chocolate Ganache
-
Heat the cream in the top of a double boiler until warm, add the chocolate chips and stir until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth. Remove from heat and allow the ganache to cool to room temperature before transferring the ganache to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and beating at medium high speed until smooth and slightly fluffy, about 2 minutes.
To Assemble
-
Scoop 1 tablespoon out of the tops of each of the cupcakes and fill the holes with 2 teaspoons of the blood orange curd. Top with the chocolate ganache and a quarter slice of the candied blood oranges and serve.
Eva, make sure to listen to your heart when it tells you to slow down. Don’t wait for the Universe to slow you down,
then it’s not so easy. The irony of saying yes to so much, and feeling guilty when you say no, is that you’re missing
a much richer life, by not slowing down. Nature needs us more than ever, and you’ll probably find you’re creativity
taking you places you never imagined, simply by slowing down. Nobody ever left the planet saying they should’ve
worked harder, they usually wish they’d worked a whole lot less and savored the world a whole lot more.
Creativity is best when it comes from a place of joy! 🙂
” Nobody ever left the planet saying they should’ve worked harder, they usually wish they’d worked a whole lot less and savored the world a whole lot more.” <- This really resonated with me. It is so true and obvious but seeing it said so simply really helps put it all in perspective. Thank you so much for your warm words, Jennifer!! Miss you and hope you are doing well!!! <3
Oh I feel you, I really do! For years I’ve been a maniac crowd pleaser, always putting everyone else ahead of me, never able to say NO to anything in fear that people wouldn’t like me anymore and would replace me with others who said yes. Want to know what changed it? Because of the economy, a few years back I had to start saying NO to a lot of things, mainly because I couldn’t afford financially to say yes. And yep, just as I had feared, people replaced me with others who did not say NO and it hurt, yeah, it did, but I got through it and am still here, aren’t I? It also allowed me to realise I wasn’t doing myself any favours, and I was burning myself out trying to acomodate and please everyone, so I began to put ME first once in a while. That has allowed me to finally pursue my real passion, which is writing, that has allowed me to cut out from my life any activity or relationship that didn’t make me feel good with mysel, and it has allowed me to be more there instead of stressing out that I’m running out of time to do all I have to do for others. I have one rule only, now, which is after five o’clock in week days my computer is off and I’m there for my son and husband. Being a writer, mainly, that is not always real, because although I may be offline and off work, my head still goes round and round with plot and characters and chapters and the whole thing! BUt it’s getting better, and I am not stressed as I always used to be! Love the frosting in these cakes, so bright and vivid!
https://bloglairdutemps.blogspot.pt
Thank you for sharing your story, Ruth! It is so hard to turn the crowd-pleasing thing off, but I know it is for the best. I think I heard somewhere that when you try to please everyone you end up pleasing no one, which is incredibly accurate. Family is so important, and when you make them the priority you can’t go wrong.
I used to work for a very well-known Danish company, which was a dream job, until it took over my life. I was traveling back and forth from the States to Denmark at least once a month, often more. My garden got overgrown, I couldn’t finish classes I’d signed up for, my marriage was failing, and I was constantly living under the threat of having to travel for work. I couldn’t plan anything more than a few days in advance.
So, I decided to move to Denmark to be closer to my job and to get some stability in my life. This choice came at the cost of my marriage. I moved abroad and my job became demanding in other ways. I nearly had a breakdown. It got so bad that my doctor put me on medical leave. I went to see a therapist and together, we decided that it would be best for me to resign from the job I’d left a marriage and moved continents for.
Now I’m remarried and working as a freelancer. I’m highly driven and I know where you’re coming from. I have a hard time turning down work, too. But, now I prioritize my marriage and myself above everything else. I’m realistic about deadlines and I only work with clients I like. The first time I turned down a job was stressful but liberating, and the client ended up working with my timeline in the end, so I didn’t lose the job. I’ve learned that I have no one to blame but myself if I’m not honest with myself and my clients about what I can do and on what timeline.
I work from home most days from the happiest city in the world in beautiful city centre apartment from 1899 that my husband and I are restoring. And that’s a crazy luxury to have. I work out every day, I cuddle my cat, I spend time with my husband, and I cook dinner. I prioritize these things because when I didn’t, I ended up divorced and sick. Nothing is worth that and the world will not end if I (or you) say “no” once in awhile (or even more often).
I had to get to a point where I chose me, my (second) marriage, and what’s most important to me every day. The rest fits in around it 🙂
This is such an inspirational story, thank you so much for opening up about it, Sage. It sounds a lot like what I have have been going through internally lately, and it is so helpful to hear from someone who has experienced something similar. I am so glad you made it out to the other side and are living so happily and successfully! (I just took a peek at your blog and your apartment is amazing!!) Thanks again for sharing your perspective <3
your cupcakes look stunning! And about the work/life balance.. I think it’s a journey. It comforts me that a lot of people have problems with this balance. (not so nice for the other people – I know). So you are really not alone. Sometimes that makes it already a little bit easier to deal with. And making a book? It sounds as such a high demanding task. But when it’s done and you get the first one.. it probably will be worth it!
Thanks Marianne! It always makes you feel better when you are struggling to know that you’re not alone and other folks have struggled with the same issues. Makes the problems seem less unsurmountable for sure! 🙂
Family first… They will be there with you to the end. A job is just that.. A job.
Very wise words, thank you dear Linda. <3
I have no good advice about work/life balance, but I have complete confidence you’ll figure it out. I did want to drop in and say that these cupcakes look incredible. With all those intensely flavorful ingredients you’ve used I can’t imagine they’ll be anything other than great.
Thanks so much, Allyson!!
Eva I now at the ripe age of 62 have become good at setting boundaries. This was not something that came naturally for me because of having to parent a mentally ill mother while still a very young child. Because of my mother’s mental illness I didn’t know what boundaries were. Through years of therapy to mitigate the abuse I suffered as a child I gradually learned what boundaries are and the best way to set them. The first step is self awareness which is evident through your blog, you have in spades. (I am complimenting you at this point of my reply). The rest is to keep setting boundaries which simply takes practice. The fly in the ointment for me is feeling like I am a bad person for putting the needs for me and my family first and then feeling guilty about it. In those instances if you feel any guilt here is a suggestion that my therapist told me. Become an observer outside of yourself and watch what is transpiring. If for instance in this example you are feeling guilty, ask yourself “Where is this guilt coming from? Is there anything I have done to actually feel guilty about?” (often women in our culture feel guilty for not being available for everyone on demand. Cultural conditioning so to speak) As you observe those feelings simply acknowledge them and let them go. This may or may not be a suggestion that would help you, I certainly found it helped diffuse my feelings and see the source of my guilt in those instances. To put it another way.. my observance helped sweep aside the smoke and mirrors to see the reality of my situation. You are an impressive inspiring young woman and i wish you every success. Best wishes from a survivor of childhood abuse.
Katherine, thank you *so much* for opening up and sharing your story—I am so sorry you had to go through all of that and am so glad you’ve been able to work through all of the pain you had to endure. I really appreciate your honesty and your sage advice. I deeply relate to the guilt aspect, my gut reaction to saying no to anything is to immediately feel guilty about it afterwards. Like an uncontrollable response. I am going to try those introspective questions going forward when it happens, I think that over time if I keep analyzing my reaction I can eventually get it to stop once my mind fully realizes that to feel that way is pointless and isn’t helping anything, but just creating more unnecessary stress and anxiety. Thank you again for your encouragement <3
This post resonates with me so much! Thank you for sharing it Eva. I too feel the exact same way about work, getting a high from doing ALL the things on my list and never wanting to say no to anyone. I want everyone to be happy all the time, and for some reason I link saying no to people as directly making them unhappy. I’ve gotten better about saying no over the last year, trying to go with my gut reaction when contemplating a new opportunity. If I overthink it too much I find myself moving in the wrong direction. I’ve found (to my happy surprise) if I’m honest with people they aren’t ever upset with me! Thanks for sharing this, it’s refreshing to hear coming from someone I look up to in the world of successful women I strive to be like.
Yep, that mania will really get you! It just feels so good getting everything done, but keeping up that pace can be killer. I’m glad to hear you’ve been able to make improvements over the last year, and am hoping I’ll be able to do the same in 2017 🙂
Running your own business, it’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and non-stop requests for our time, energy, resources, etc. I felt super burnt out in the fall and saw the toll it took on my family and happiness. While I was in Amsterdam, I started reading the amazing book Essentialism by Greg McKeown, which was exactly what I needed at the moment. It’s all about how to focus your efforts on the things that matter most, that will have maximum impact, in order to produce better work and have time for what matters most (health, family, friends, etc.) I highly recommend it! I also recently started meditating, which has been amazing! I went to a three-day retreat at a Buddhist temple in South Korea years ago and found meditating to be one of the most difficult things to do. I have a tendency also to be a little manic and love the feeling of being productive and efficient. Just sitting there seemed to go against everything I was and I decided it wasn’t for me. Years later, I realize that even though I can’t (don’t want to) change who I essentially am, the power of being able to calm my mind and sit still for a mere 10 minutes can be hugely beneficial to my life as whole. I’m still a major work in progress, but these two things have helped immensely. Sending you a big hug!
Thank you, Carly! I juuuust ordered that book from amazon and am going to get on reading it asap. It’s funny you say that about meditation, that’s always the way I felt about it. I’d just sit there thinking about all the stuff that I needed to get done and could do doing during that time. But I feel like now I am at the point where that little bit of quiet and nothingness is incredibly appealing, so I’m going to give it another go. Thanks again for your warm words, miss you and hope we can get together soon!!!! <3
I actually just started re-reading Essentialism last week, so sending you good vibes as you start to read it! Yes, hope to catch up soon and can’t wait to hear what you think of the book! xo
Hey Eva,
I am sorry that you’ve been feeling quite worn-out. I hope everything’s going a bit better since you wrote this. I know how you’re feeling and I know what an amazing person you are. You motivate everyone around you, cheer people up, do amazing creative things. It’s ok to sit back and enjoy everything every once in a while. We’ll be there when you get back. And seeing a therapist about these kinds of things isn’t a bad idea at all. If it helps you, why not. Just following your heart. <3
Looks delicious! But I say this about anything chocolate related TBH 🙂
Regarding work-life balance – Derek Sivers wrote an excellent post:
https://sivers.org/hellyeah
Life is too short to waste it on something you’re not passionate about, so you should try and work on overcoming your FOMO.
Hey Eva,
I remember you talking about this last September at the SS and I just wanted to encourage you with this.
1. You are a good wife/friend/daughter.
2. Saying “no” gets easier with practice.
3. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are human after all. (with an inhuman amount of talent)
4. This was just a season and balance is ahead.
I think we have all been there, take comfort in that. I learned this a few years back (and I’m still learning). What has helped me the most is twofold.
To find balance, you must first find the weight of each thing in your life. What is more important, get’s more time. Balance doesn’t mean equal.
Saying “yes” really means saying “no” to myriad of other things.
Okay, I really didn’t mean to write this much. I just wanted to encourage you. Okay, bye!
Let's Be Penpals!
from my homestead to your inbox